Kids learn to walk on the very day that God has ordained that will happen. As a parent you can do absolutely nothing to hurry that day along. For some, it's 8 or 9 months. For others, it's 14 or 15 months. The last is almost twice the age of the first. Why in the world do we expect them all to be ready for school at 5 years of age?
If you're a parent reading this, and you have one of those kids for whom it makes your stomach knot to think of sending them to school for the first time next fall, then let me assure you as a college instructor:
We like them a little older than 18 when they get here, thank you very much!
That isn't to say an 18 year old can't be ready for college. Some 16 year olds are ready. But my observation is that the older students are much better students. They've been out in the world, sometimes all around the world, and the experience they bring back to the classroom, the maturity, the insight, greatly enriches their education AND the education of the students around them. And me. Even in a math class. Most 18 year olds need to go see the world before college. Colleges love older students, too.
But perhaps you've read the brain studies that say the human brain is just finishing it's formation by 18-22 years of age, which is why an intensive learning setting is so good for them. To which I ask, Why do you think they must be in a classroom to learn?
Perhaps you're afraid your child won't be successful if they don't graduate by 18. Kids aren't cars. If a car falls off the assembly line, we can just junk it. But an assembly line is the wrong model for a kid. You can't junk a human being. They require careful craftsmanship in the hands of a capable craftsman. And would a car that has been twisted into an approximate shape after a manufacturing error be a good one to drive? As a teacher of adults, I can tell you that I spend a lot of time trying to correct those errors. It's sometimes easier if the student stepped off the conveyor belt before the damage was done, rather than "complete" high school with an imperfect understanding.
Let's go back to that 5 year old. Frankly, I don't think 5-year olds ought to be in school anyway. Kids need to be with their parents until they're about 8. It doesn't hurt them to stay with their parents until they're about 21. This notion that we must send them to school has totally overwhelmed the truth that as parents, we need to find the best instructor for that particular child, whoever that is! Early on, it's US, the parents. You'll know when you need to get help, because the child will be asking questions for which you don't have answers.
Don't worry about socializing them. Kids don't have any trouble finding other kids with whom to socialize. If you stay in control of their education, you won't be needing to undo the curriculum of the bus that starts and ends their days, and you won't be having to undo much of the nonsense that passes for curriculum. You can and should be supervising, and you can and should be welcome in any educational setting in which you place your child.
Most state constitutions in the US have a clause about the education of the young being of paramount importance. And so we have legislated ourselves into forcing the state to do the job and make the decisions that belong to parents. We tell ourselves that the state has done the job when the child graduates from high school by age 18, even though the truth of it is that almost 1/3 of students who start high school don't finish. And that forces the state educators to define what a 9th grader looks like, and a 6th grader, and a kindergartner.
So we plop them on the conveyor belt at age 5, roll this part flat there, screw this down here, push this in there, until they all look alike at the end. We're so good at it that they all consent to wearing the oddest hat and the same color gown as all of their other conveyor belt companions, even looking as much alike as possible. I don't know why we think we've made creative thinkers and capable problem solvers when they all look like that in the end. Collective sheep, they are, drones for an industrial manufacturing, conveyor belt society.
I invite you to step off the conveyor belt. If your child has already fallen off the conveyor belt, or if you were one who fell off, then rejoice! You have an opportunity, and plenty of time as well, to step back, observe, figure out what to do next, and go do it. Observe, observe, observe. Be careful not to try to find another conveyor belt to solve the problem. Maybe you need to let your child rest from the treadmill and not do anything but hike in the woods for a time, or dangle their feet in the lake. As a long-time educator, I promise you, as long as you turn off the TV and throw out the computerized game machine and don't engage in substance abuse, that it will be ok! More on what to do instead in a later blog.
I've got 50 year olds in my college classes. So I assure you, there's plenty of time.
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